FEAR ! ! !

There are things that people fear for some it may be spiders , pitbulls:), or heights ext for me mine is driving under certain conditions like in the dark driving makes me nervous but lately my hugest fear has been highway 12 for the last 6 or 7 months they have been fixing the road and decided it would be great to put up a white block wall!for what reason I don't know but it just scares me lol!My fear in driving by this wall is that I will hit it and then crash and hurt my kids or worse that I may cause my child to die by crashing into the wall!For most you probably are thinking "O my goodness girl" but this fear is so real to me! I go through Vacaville to get to Fairfeild when taking Lille to her therapy twice a week so I don't have to drive the highway 12.

I started this post on the 31st of Oct and after starting it I have since then have had 2 things come up that I have had fear (1)I don't like confronting people when I know I should and I have let many times go by because of it ,and I know it was wrong and the reason I know it is because Iam being selfish and only thinking of me and how it makes me feel to have to go and talk to another person instead of thinking of the other person and loving them to the point of putting ME aside!

(2)So as you know the SWINE FLU is out and about all over the news and people wearing masks at all the store!Yes this is another fear of mine because all my children have medical conditions that make them at higher risk for being hospitalized if they in deed get this flu!

Well I started getting getting sick this Sunday and I was thinking it was just hay fever!but as it started getting worse and my fever was at 102.5 I looked on line about the swine flu and started fearing I would be the cause of my children getting hospitalized or possibly the worse death!After being encouraged by my family I stopped the fleshly thoughts and went to the doctors yesterday to find out that I have a virus and the starting of pneumonia on the left side in return causes my asthma to hit a high of out of control breathing!The doctor was not convinced I had the swine flu.

I also had the opportunity to call another sister in Christ today (Nov 4Th) and the Lord brought me through the phone call and this other person took it so well and was very thankful and in return I was blessed that I was able to encourage another sister in the lord.

In the last month God has shown me alot that I didn't even see in myself but it was collecting in my heart this ugly thing of "FEAR" and worst all of it is sin to fear because I am not in anyway TRUSTING my lord that has my life in his hands and my family as well.I have no control over saving my children from death Iam called to be wise as a mother but I still have no control over my life or any one Else's life at that.It does not matter if I go through vacaville to avoid highway 12 because the Lord can allow us to get in a car crash going to vacaville!I know you get what Iam saying:)same with my kids Yes Iam getting them there flu shot and the swine flu shot as well but does that stop them from getting out of the lords timing of death where He says our days are numbered NO it doesn't!I get so frustrated at myself at times and my way of thinking!I am just so thankful to the lord that he is so faithful to show us our short comings and in that it allows me to change my heart and keep running this race toward the finish line!

I have to say Iam proud of what the Lord has done in my heart with driving to Fairfeild on highway 12 because Iam so happy to say I have been driving highway 12 for about 2 weeks now:)YEAH!!!!! Iam still working on it though lol its not all the way easy lol:)

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.In all thine ways acknowledge Him, and he shall direct thy path.

Proverbs 3:5

"Do You Find Me Lovely?"

There is a little boy in a foster home and it is the home where A and J (My precious niece and nephew)had lived!before being welcomed into there family!My sister had posted on him and her experience with him and what he had asked her!In case you missed it it was something he had said to her as she was leaving with A & J for a home visit and his words were "can I come with you?" My sisters heart hurt for this little boy as she didn't even know the words to say to him she said to him"Oh sweet heart you cant" and he said back to her with his head down " why? why cant I come with you?" Iam not sure what my sister had said to him but Iam sure this little boy didn't understand all the legal stuff of Adopting and I know for sure if my sister could have she would have just token him home to have a "forever family"to love him and care for him despite all his issues he might have had in that moment!I just cant imagine the pain of the questions that run through his little mind!
In saying all of this well.... he had came to my mind when I heard this song by Shawn McDonald " Lovely?'! in fact it reminds me of all the children in foster homes waiting for "A mommy and Daddy" wondering in there own little minds "does anyone care?" or "Do you find me lovely?" I tried to put the video on here and I just cant figure it out so here are the words to the song but the song is much better then being read!If you would like go to u-tube and watch it:)So here it is!!!


Let me tell you a story



Of a little boy who had lost his way



In search for something to make it a better day,



But all he seemed to find



Was a world of hurt and pain



And a place that didn't seem to care that he'd lost his way.



So the boy began to cry.



Yes, the boy began to cry.


Does anyone love?



Does anyone care?



Is anyone out there?



That finds me lovely



That finds me lovely



That finds me lovely?


Just when the little boy had lost all hope



Well, along came a man that ushered him in.



He held him to his chest



And He said "Little boy, it's time that you rest"



He opened up His arms



And said, "I've been searching for you for some time.



Now, Little Boy, you have found a home



And now longer shall you roam"



Then the man began to cry.



Yes, the man began to cry.


Don't you know I love you?



Don't you know I care?



And I will always be here,



And I find you lovely.



Yes, I find you lovely.



Yes I find you so so lovely.



I find you lovely...



Yes, I find you lovely


"I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a" stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me. Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord when was it that we did these things for you?' And the king will answer them, 'Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.
Matthew 25: 35-45

Phillip's Farm Trip !!

Today Tony and I took the kids to Phillip's Farm to pick out some pumpkins:)The kids enjoyed seeing floppy ear bunnies and some roosters and some geese that were honking very loud at us and even bit Tony but he asked for it :)We went through tunnels made of hay and picked out pumpkins!We came home and the kids cleaned out there pumpkins and painted them!It was very fun to watch them enjoy themselves.I did take pictures at the farm but had to use a bought throw away because we found our batteries to be dead so I will post more pictures later.

Hi Everyone!!

Okay So for 3 days I have had a post and a video I want to post but my cute little computer is having issues!So in the next couple of days you will find a very over due post!Have a blessed night:)

Happy 6th Birthday Addison !!!!

October 3rd was Addi sons 6Th birthday and we celebrated it by inviting her cousins to a party at build a bear!It was alot of fun and Addison had a blast!It was very fun to see all the kids picking out there animal to stuffing it to putting a little heart in there animals!Addison loves stuffed animals and had never been to build a bear so we though it would a great day of fun for everyone!After build a bear we went to Chucky cheese to have Luch and played fun games!Then we came home too open gifts and have cup cakes hmmm yummy!!!
Addison opening gifts

mom relaxing and enjoying her grand babies

Addison opening a gift!
Kory and Trinity

washing her Kitty cat Anthony giving his cat a bath!

Mr K and Tony and Kory

hoping around the store!!

Addison has also lost her first front tooth 2 days ago and she had been working on it for a week before she decided she would listen to daddy and eat a apple and it sure did work because it made it lose enough for her to pull it out!Addison does not mess around its funny to me because she has riped out all 3 of her teeth!She get so excited about her teeth falling out maybe because she gets a treat from us when she loses them!