Friday, May 22, 2009

Bring On The Rain !!

I must say I have been so busy being advocate for Lillie girl thses past 2 weeks!Iam so Happy and joyful and I give all my thanks I have to God for showing me all that he has been showing me with Lillie from the begining to now!Iam in aww of him and who he is in every part of this journey with Lillie girl!I have to say I thank God for Lillie I thank God for this sick child of mine!I know through Lillies journey that had I not been given her I would not find myself seeking him as much as I have in the last 2 1/2 years!I wouldnt have learned in my heart to trust him the way he calls me to!I wouldnt know how to find joy in all circumstances in trusting Gods will and knowing that he is in complete control no matter what may be going on in my life! I have also learned that though doctors didnt know why my daughter was not thriving on her own even after hundreds of testing done on her that God is the altimate Doctor who knows all things and that I have nothing to fear because he knows! that is where I have learned to trust Him in all things!This is not to say I didnt have to learn what God was doing through my daughter was going to be changing my hubby and I in so many ways:)We struggled when we were in the hospital with Lillie! when there were no answered prayers!I know God didnt answer when I wanted him to but he answered when he knew his child of his(Crystal)was ready in her heart to know!I dont know the reason really he waited as long as he did I just know I would not have wanted to know then what was wrong with Lille girl! looking back and then knowing how much this journey has changed my heart I see Gods mercy,grace, and love for his child to love me so much to want to show me more of him and to want to help me in all he has done through my child!I am not saying that Iam stoked my daughter is sick of course as a mom you dont want to see your child to be sick and not thriving!but Iam content and I accept what God has gaven me because really I deserve NOTHING so anything extra like my family and children, friends ext are all such a blessing from him and if it involves being given a sick child then Thank you God . see its in his perfect timing not mine not the doctors His:)!The way I look at it is I thank God for trials because it is through our trials that we see our heavenly father so much more and we see more of ourselves and how unable we are to face anything alone!I couldnt trust my feelings and I still cant trust them but Gods word I know and trust and it can and has gotton me through some of my hardest days with lillie being sick!I know its easy to say why?how could you God?I dont understand?but its not for me to ask those questions because I have understood its for my good and It truly is!I know this is crazy but I almost want to say "bring on the rain God"I dont ever want to be comfortable with myself I like knowing constantly I need you God!! oh and its so easy to fall into my flesh and think I can go a while without God or reading his word!!The truth is no I cannot make it one day without him not even a minute:)

1 comment:

For His Glory said...

I just love reading your heart:) Thank you for continuing to declare God's goodness and faithfulness...He is good and perfect. See we think we know what good and right is, but then again we are basing that on a worldly view and what the world says is good and right and perfect. God is good and all His ways are just according to HIS standard and His standard should always be our standard!! Thanks again for the beautiful testimony of your life sis!