Surgery !!

I wanted to say I love you all and I know that alot of us have been going through some trials and God had put it on my heart to encourage you with something a mother had written after her daughter had died 2 days prior to her writting what she had wrote!It was given to me when I was in the hospital with Lillie!So I wanted to share it back to encourage any of you who need to be encouraged!
P.S= Sorry dad its not the greatest picture but since your heart surgery The Lord has Changed my heart in a way that Iam thankful to God for!Its amazing how God does use what we may think or feel is not Good for us to change our hearts in way that only can be done by Him!I praise him for all he has done in my life and those around me through trials!

Thoughts from mom,

My dear sweet Destiny died 2 days ago.It's amazing how much you could love someone who did so little so much.I marveled in anything that she could do.We were excited every time she went "poopoo'' on her own or turned her eyes to look at something. Her body was perfect. I marveled at her little toes and fingers and beautiful hair.She was mine,especially designed by God for me for a time such as this, and I loved her.
Destiny was a lot of work.She required medicine to make each part of her work-A medicine to sleep-A medicine not to seize- a medicine to move her bowels, A medicine to help keep food in her stomach....I cried many nights since she was born-saddened by what her future held and fearful of when her last day would come.The doctors and hospital visits were getting exhausting. I felt like I was in the 3rd watch (as it says in the bible).I was weary-yet at the same time, I was confident that the Lord would not give me more then I could handle.

I would have never chosen this trial or any trial at that matter. The pain of losing a child is at times unbearable.Yet, by Gods grace, I was able to press into God and try to see what purpose He had in bringing Destiny into my life-because I have no doubt that God doesn't allow anything without a specific purpose. He had everything calculated down to the minutest detail including the perfect number of her days to accomplish the purpose that He had in mind for us. He knew the exact amount of pain and emotional energy that I could handle to keep me pressing into Him-that it wouldn't be to much that I would grow weary or bitter.I always knew and still continue to rest on the fact that He is good all the time and not only is He -but all things that He allows into our lives are for our good.We can't always see how a circumstance like this could be good-yet our confidence is not in how we feel or how we see things-but in who God is.

We often think that all pain is bad and that it's our goal to avoid it at all costs.It all hurts right now in an emotional way as a surgery to remove a large cancerous tumor would hurt physically.If we didn't know what we were being saved from, surgery would feel like trouble upon trouble...the incision,the bills,the recovery process... yet, what benefit the surgery would be: it would keep one from death;it would remove future pain;it would allow one to live life to the fullest. What's going on in our lives at this time could be God's way of doing surgery on our souls- we just can't see what the pain is sparing us from or preparing us to do or how it will be used for the future. It's all a matter of faith in a God who is faithful. A God who doesn't allow pain for sake of pain- but has a plan even for the pain that seems unnecssary.We just can't see the work that He is inevitably doing beneath the surface. He's allowing circumstances that if we could see the outcome of his plan-we would say, "Cut deeper." May we not miss what he intends!

I pray that what ever you may be going through this week,that you will be encouraged in knowing you can trust God with your life and what it holds!!